In Theaters this Week (March 29-April 4)

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Expectation: 20/100

What was Paramount thinking? After the disaster that G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra was both critically (34% on Rotten Tomatoes) and financially (income of $150 million on a $175 million budget) one would think that they would realize that this whole G.I. Joe idea is one to throw away, but nope. After the June 2012 release date was pushed back to expand upon Channing Tatum’s character due to his new level of stardom, it was clear that there was very little faith in this film. Dwayne Johnson will continue to attempt (and fail) to prove himself as an action star. It looks like it will be more of the same for the G.I. Joe series (not a good thing), and all that we can do as viewers is hope that this is the last time Paramount wastes their money on this failed reboot of a previously successful franchise. G.I. Joe was cool in the 80’s, but not anymore.

Expectation: 40/100

Expectation: 40/100

Based upon a novel coming from one of the most famous modern authors, Stephenie Meyer, is The Host. What else did she write, you ask? Ever heard of Twilight? No way! Hold up, it can’t be that bad can it? I don’t think so. I’m not saying it will be good, but it would have to be quite the disaster if it ended up as bad (and successful) as Twilight. It will attempt to follow the same path as Twilight with the ” teen epic romance” genre, which is a disaster of a genre as it is (see: I am Number Four). At least it doesn’t have Kristen Stewart in it :p. I’m having trouble finding positive or negative things about The Host, so I expect it to be as mediocre as the prologue and trailer suggest it to be.

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Expectation: 10/100

What is Tyler Perry? Is he an overweight old woman? Is he a comedy writer? Or is he a dramatic director? Some would say all the above, but personally I think he should stick to being an old woman. The fact that he must put his name on everything that he does just shows how desperate he is for people to recognize him as a legitimate filmmaker. All of his films are embarrassments to the screens that they are shown on, and don’t expect Temptation to be any different. In fact, if it is different, it might even be worse. Keep trying Tyler, maybe you will finally make a film worth watching, but that film will not be Temptation. Actually, maybe he should just stop trying.

Expectation: 90/100

Expectation: 90/100

As I said in my previous edition of ‘In Theaters this Week’ my most anticipated movie of 2013 comes out this week. That movie is The Place Beyond the Pines. With my newfound respect for Bradley Cooper as an actor and my never-ending appreciation for Ryan Gosling, the cast looks very strong. The only questionable decision was the casting of Eva Mendes, but from what I’ve heard, she does a decent job in her role. The entire epic vision behind ‘Pines’ is really what gets me excited. I’m also a big fan of movies that take place over an extended period of time, and this film takes place over a 19 year period. Yes, the prologue and trailer did scream Drive to me too, but if you were to ask me what my favorite 2011 film was, it would be Drive, which makes the idea of “Drive with a twist” sound pretty damn good to me. Not to mention that Blue Valentine was a true piece of beauty, which makes director Derek Cainfrance’s name one that instantly grabs my attention. It should be noted that March 29th is the limited release (April 12th wide release), and it will only be playing in four theaters (two in LA and two in NYC).  I am fortunate to live within 4 miles of one of those four theaters, but I am on vacation in Chicago until Tuesday, so don’t expect a review until Thursday. I will be sure to also include this in my April 12th edition of ‘In Theaters this Week’.

An interesting fact is that my average expectation for March was a 47. All we can hope is that April is something that gets March out of our minds.

This week starts a string of three weeks in a row where there is a film that will have above a 75 expectation rating :D!

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